


It’s such a shame for us to part...

by justanoutlaw



Series: The Scientist [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Charming Family Feels (Once Upon a Time), Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Prince Charming | David Nolan Friendship, Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard Friendship, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, PTSD, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:00:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27633767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanoutlaw/pseuds/justanoutlaw
Summary: When true love doesn’t last forever, David must find a way to move on. Emma is wracked with guilt. Regina just wants to help her best friend’s family move on.Little do they know, the Dark One has been playing them all once again.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Prince Charming | David Nolan, Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Prince Charming | David Nolan & Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard & Emma Swan, Prince Charming | David Nolan/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard
Series: The Scientist [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021690
Comments: 20
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This series includes Major Character Death, lots of angst and a happy ending. But it’s gonna hurt before it gets better.

_Tell me you love me_  
_Come back and haunt me_  
_Oh, and I rush to the start_  
_Running in circles, chasing our tails_  
_Coming back as we are_

_Nobody said it was easy_  
_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part_  
_Nobody said it was easy_  
_No one ever said it would be so hard_  
_I'm going back to the start-Coldplay, The Scientist_

David never lived alone. He went from his mother’s to King George’s castle to living with Snow. Even cursed, he lived with Kathryn. When Snow and Emma fell through the portal, Henry moved in. Afterwards, he and Snow shared a bed, never leaving each other’s side. Some called it co-dependent but when you lost someone as much as they had...wouldn’t you cling to them?

Now, David didn’t live alone...but it almost felt like he did.

Snow couldn’t keep a secret. He knew this about her from the start. But in the end, she was able to keep the secret that took her life.

Now, he slept in a queen sized bed, alone. It wasn’t even the room they had shared after multiple curses. Not the bed they made love in countless times. The loft was vacant and it had been for weeks now. Emma wasn’t ready to give up the big blue house and David certainly wasn’t going to leave her alone. Even if she barely speaks to him anymore. 

A cry rings out across the room and David climbs out of bed. He makes his way to the crib where his son lays. Neal stops the instant his blue eyes land on his father, a smile encroaching on his chubby face. He kicks his legs in the air, showing off the sheep onesie that Granny gave them at the naming ceremony.

That was only 6 months ago and it feels like forever. 

David takes in his son. Snow always said whatever Emma inherited from each of them, their son was the opposite. Fine dark locks poke up in a fake mohawk, all from his mother. His eyes are the same shade of blue as his father’s, a trait past down from David’s maternal grandmother. The smile is all Snow, it’s full of hope and wonder. 

Sometimes David wonders if his son realizes what’s going on. The only sign of change is his resistance to formula. Snow had breast fed from day one, but that’s obviously not an option anymore. Luckily, they had just started the little one on solids after their trip to Camelot. Whale says that’s his saving grace. Most kids wean off breast milk, but there was no time. One moment, things were normal. They had a wife and mother.

The next, she was gone.

David leans down and picks his son up, inhaling the sweet baby smell from his head. Neal opens his mouth, going to gum at his dad’s University of Maine shirt (a favorite from David Nolan’s cursed life). David lets him, still taking in his features.

“I bet you’re hungry, bubba,” David whispers. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat.”

Neal babbles in response as they head down the stairs. This house would’ve been the perfect one to be a family in. That’s why Emma picked it in the first place as the dark one. It was Snow’s favorite when they started house hunting before Henry was kidnapped. The walls are a creamy off white that’s warm and inviting. All the furniture has a lived in, cozy vibe. The kitchen has all new appliances and an island, bigger than the one at the loft. There’s a big yard with a solid oak that’ll be perfect for a tree house one day.

The family lived there as a unit of 4 for two weeks. Two weeks as his daughter lied to them. Claimed that the sleeping curse was set by Arthur. Pretended they had suckered the darkness out of her. Hid that she inflicted some of it onto Snow in order to save her life. 

Then the portal opened and all of the past Dark Ones emerged. They were going to destroy the town, so Snow White made the ultimate sacrifice. She took on all of it, allowing it to kill her.

And in that moment, David lost his wife. Their kids lost their mother.

David reaches the bottom of the stairs and heads for the kitchen. He halts when he gets a peak of the living room. Emma is curled up on the couch, one of Snow’s cardigans wrapped tightly around her. She stares off into the horizon, her eyes haunted.

David doesn’t blame Emma for what happened. He has his memories back from Camelot, he remembers how scary it all was. Nearly losing his wife, Emma sobbing over her body. He wanted to do everything to save her. 

Emma had lost her mother twice, she wasn’t going to let it happen a third.

He knows his daughter is vulnerable. She has trauma he could never imagine. She acted as someone who grew up alone, who had two men die in her arms (one of whom was the love of her life). She acted as the girl who watched her former foster mother and the only decent foster parent she ever had, kill herself. She acted as someone who never learned to grieve, because life wouldn’t let her.

No, David didn’t hate or resent his daughter for what she did. 

And even if he had...it would never beat how much Emma hated herself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one day! I just really wanted to get this up.

Emma hasn’t slept well since she took on the curse. Dark Ones don’t need sleep, so the enormity didn’t hit her until her mother died. She’s exhausted, but she can’t sleep. She lays in the dark, staring at the ceiling as she waits for her mother to just come crashing through the door.

She’s reminded of her mom’s hug after the first curse broke. She had been so uncomfortable and wanted it all to end, a mix of emotions swirling through her mind. She was mad, she was relieved. She was hurt, she was excited. But all she could convey was silence, as Snow hugged her as if she might disappear again.

Emma took her mother’s hugs for granted. Snow was a hugger, Emma wasn’t. But what she wouldn’t give for her mom to wrap her arms around her one more time. She wants to inhale the mixture of floral perfume and fabric softener. She wants to hear the words “I love you, baby” whispered into her ear, even if it makes her cheeks turn pink.

Emma Swan is 30 years old and she just wants her mommy.

As the clock hits six, Emma stumbles out of bed. The sun is coming up over head and she knows there’s no way she’ll sleep now. She doesn’t want to, given what she’s dreamt in the small moments she has. Dreams used to be fun things, like talking donuts or being on a quiz show in her pajamas. Now, they’re just flashbacks.

She dreams of Arthur nearly killing her mother in Camelot. Emma saved her, but once they got the spark lit…Snow collapsed. Gasping for breath, she begged Emma to let her die.

_  
“As long as you’re safe and happy, that’s all that matters,” Snow manages to let out once Emma poofs them into the meadow._

_“I need you,” Emma cries over her body._

_“We had some great times together, just cherish what we had.”_

_“That’s not enough for me!”_

Emma’s selfishness had saved her mother and at first, things were great. The town forgot about those 6 weeks in Camelot but Emma managed to blame it on their new visitors. Snow had no clue about the darkness within her. As it turned out, while Dark Ones didn’t need sleep, they still could if they want to. Her mom was a bit more on edge than usual, but she was alive, wasn’t she?  
  


And then Zelena. Emma had tried to get rid of her, she sped up her pregnancy without anyone knowing and was going to kill her for everything she did to her, Neal, Henry and her brother. Somehow, she got away and slowly began revealing the truth to everyone. First it was Regina, who didn’t want to believe her sister. So, Zelena broke into the shed out back, finding the dreamcatchers. Once Regina saw them, it was game over. She told Snow and David, and Emma’s world crumbled down.

Her parents could barely look at her. She can still see Snow wordlessly handing her a mug of hot chocolate and sitting of the side, while Regina reamed her out. David didn’t meet her eye when he arrived to announce that Nimue had stolen the dreamcatchers. Everything after that was a blur. Nimue invited the other Dark Ones to Storybrooke via a portal and put black marks on everyone except Emma and her younger brother. The town would die by the end of the night and Emma would be left to pick up the pieces.

She couldn’t allow it to happen. The town wasn’t going to die for her mistake. She went to Rumpelstiltskin, who told her how to make the ultimate sacrifice. Emma wrote three letters: one for her parents, one for her baby brother and one for her son. She thought she hid them well enough so they wouldn’t be discovered until her sacrifice was made.

Of course, Snow found it early. She rushed to the field and that lead to the events of Emma’s next dream.

_Snow poofs Excalibur away. “You’re not doing this.”_

_“It’s the only way!” Emma cries out. “If I don’t do this, everyone dies.”_

_“Emma, I have lost you enough, I’m not going to again.”_

_“It’s too late, I need to think of Neal…Dad…everyone I should’ve thought about before I started all of this.” A sob escapes her lips and Snow places a hand on her shoulder._

_“You were scared, baby,” Snow whispers. “And I understand. I almost did something horrible to save my mother when I was young.”_

_“But you didn’t,” Emma sobs. “You made the right choice, you thought of the people around you, not just your pain.”_

_“I had a mom to teach me those things. I wasn’t there for you, Emma. Maybe if I was…maybe if I had prevented all the pain you went through…”_

_“This isn’t your fault! I made my own choices!”_

_“You’re right, you did.” Snow’s hand moves to her cheek, cradling her daughter’s face. “And now I’m making mine.”_

_Snow pulls away and turns the dagger towards her. Emma leaps to stop her, but Snow freezes her in place. Without being able to move a muscle, Emma is forced to watch her mother take her own life._

Emma hasn’t cried since that moment. She sat in the grass, holding her mom in her arms as she sobbed. She didn’t move when her father, Regina and Hook arrived. Her father dropped beside her and took his wife’s body into his arms, trying true love’s kiss until the ambulance arrived. Emma stayed clinging to her mother’s hand, even after she was moved onto the gurney. Once again, her father had to pull her away as Emma’s tears intensified. It was the first time he had hugged her or kissed her forehead since the secret was revealed.

Since then, he acted like nothing bad had ever happened. He made sure Emma ate at the funeral. He kept a hand on her back the entire time with Neal snuggled in his other arm. He wrapped a blanket around her when she refused to go upstairs that night. David was the one who reheated the food that everyone brought by. He checked on her, reminded her to shower.

He’s being her father when she doesn’t deserve it.

Once downstairs, Emma resumes her spot on the couch. It’s where she can be found most days, her eyes trained forward. David puts on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for Neal and she tunes it out. Her brother cries and she’ll barely flinch. Emma didn’t die in that field that night, but she might as well have.

She leans backwards and for once, allows her eye to train on something. Snow’s desk is pushed against the wall, untouched. Her gradebook is sat on top, with stacks of papers. Emma wanders over and spots a few uncapped purple pens (her mom hated grading in red). There’s the tell-tale family tree assignment, filled in by this year’s students. An empty mug that reads “Don’t Make Me Use My Teacher Voice” contains nothing but a lone teabag. Emma rubs her fingers over the green tea label, her mother’s favorite.

Against the chair is one of Snow’s cardigans, one of the uglier ones. It’s cream with big, tacky florals on it. Even so, Emma pulls it over her shoulders and inhales. It still smells like a hug from her mother. 

She goes back to the couch and plops down, the ugly cardigan bringing her back to her mom’s warm embrace. Why hadn’t she hugged her more? Why had she been so freaking stubborn about accepting Snow’s love?  
  


The stairs creak and Emma braces herself. Her father’s awake. He’s going to be nice to her, even when she doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t understand why he can’t hate her. He should’ve kicked her out or moved back to the loft. He should scream, tell her that he wishes she wasn’t his daughter. Blame her! Why doesn’t he do any of that?  
  


A few moments later, David enters the room. Neal is snuggled up against him, staring lovingly up at their father. A pang of guilt hits her heart, just as it does every time she sees her brother these days. She grew up without a mother and she’s fated him to the same life. He’ll have David, an amazing, devoted father. But he’ll never remember his mom. He’ll never know the kickass bandit who took down countless villains and survived in the woods.

Emma wishes she could tell him stories about her, but she knows so little. So many times, Snow would tell her things about her past. It was an invitation to get her to open up more, an invitation to ask questions. Instead, she curiously smiled and then changed the subject.

God, had she really heard her mom’s last story?  
  


“Hey Em,” David says, his soft voice cutting through to her thoughts.

“Hey,” she mumbles in response.

“I was going to make breakfast. I think maybe today’s the day that Neal tries pancakes.”

Emma tilts her head. “He’s a little young.”

“He’s going to be 7 months soon; he can have very little pieces.”

“I’m not hungry.”

David sighs, adjusting the baby in his arms. “Kiddo, when’s the last time you ate?”

Emma shrugs. “I think I had some of the casserole that Ashley brought over. It was disgusting.”

His lips tug up ever so slightly. “Yeah, she meant well but…come on. Enough mourner food, I’ll cook you some chocolate chip pancakes.”

Emma’s still not hungry, but guilt makes her follow her father into the kitchen. He settles Neal into his high chair and places some rubber blocks in front of the baby to keep him distracted. Emma drops down on a stool and watches her brother. Neal clumsily picks up one of the blocks, sucking on the image of Winne The Pooh that’s stamped on the front. He smiles at her behind the drool.

_He’s so innocent, unaware of what an utter fuck up his big sister is._

“Em,” David breaks through to her again. “Cocoa or coffee?”

“Oh, uh, coffee.” She loves her dad, but he can’t master cocoa. She’s not sure she’ll ever drink I again. It’ll never taste as good as her mother’s.

He pours her a mug. It’s bright green with cartoonish ladybugs sprawled over it. After Snow was revealed to be alive in the past via a ladybug, Emma had been obsessed with the insect. They were good luck to her.

She’d give anything to have a ladybug fly through and secretly be her mom.

Emma adds too much sugar and just a splash of cream to her coffee, savoring the sweet taste as it pours down her throat. David gives her a small smile, one that doesn’t reach the eye. Her father used to smile all the time. They were big smiles, one that overtook his whole face. Now, they’re tiny and provide little comfort.

“Do you have plans for the day?”

Emma shrugs. “I’m on leave from work.”

David nods. “Thomas was nice to take over.”

Nice or the only one that was really qualified given he had worked with sheriffs in the Enchanted Forest, it’s up to the beholder to decide.

“I could go back,” Emma says.

“Emma…it’s been two weeks.”

“And what else am I going to do?”

“You just need time. Time to heal…time to grieve…”

Emma doesn’t respond to that. Instead, she just sips her coffee and watches Neal take great interest in his blocks. Not long after the pan sizzles to life, the doorbell rings. David wipes his hand on a rag and walks out of the bedroom. A few moments later, a familiar voice fills the kitchen.

  
“I brought a lasagna.”

Regina.

She’s been over every day since it happened. She organized their freezer to fit all the food from everyone else. Every day she finds an excuse. Sometimes it’s to do laundry. Others she’s got more food. There was even the odd day she offered to watch Neal so David could nap, as if Emma wasn’t capable of doing it.

Regina has her own family. She’s got Henry, not to mention Robin, Roland and the new baby. Doesn’t she have anything better to do than come by every day? To help the family of the woman that she spent decades hating.

Emma pushes herself up and heads out of the kitchen, towards the stairs. Any motivation she had to eat to make her dad happy, has disappeared. She’s halfway up the stairs, when she hears Regina’s voice again. Her entire body clenches.

“Emma, I brought food.”

Emma doesn’t turn around. “Great.”

“And I ran into Archie when I was picking up coffee, he was saying he’d love to talk to you and your dad.”

Emma rolls her eyes and turns around. “Regina, why are you even here?

“Emma,” David gives her a Look.

“I’m serious, Dad! She hated Mom when she was alive, she tried to kill her numerous times. I’m sure she’s glad she’s dead.”

Hurt strikes Regina’s face. “That’s not true, Emma.”

“Whatever. I took on that stupid curse to save you and look where that got me. I don’t want to see you again!”

Emma storms up the rest of the stairs and slams her door behind her. Falling to the floor, she clutches her mom’s cardigan closer to her, clenching her mouth shut and willing the tears to not fall down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, we get Regina's perspective on all of this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to clarify the ships in this fic. I typically try to avoid Emma ships in my Charming family fics as I don't find them important to the story and I want to keep my stories enjoyable by anyone who loves Snowing, but may differ on what their Emma OTP is. That being said, there will be positive references to Baelfire, though Swanfire is not and will not be a thing. Captain Swan will not be bashed, but they are not together in this fic. As an outside, Outlaw Queen is together (and Robin isn't going to die), but they're a background couple. The main point of this fic is Snowing, Charming Family and Regina's relationship with both. And like CS, Rumbelle isn't bashed...but if you are diehard on them being endgame...you might not want to read.

Regina’s legs dangle over the side of her bed as she pulls her robe closer to her. Every morning when she woke up under the curse, she’d look out her large window and take in her beautiful apple tree. Now, all it does is remind her of the time she tried to kill Snow. When things were cursed, she’d strut through town and purposefully bump into “Mary Margaret’ every single day. At the time, she loved watching her squirm, unable to fight back.

Now, what she wouldn’t give to have Snow yell at her to be a better person again.

Regina Mills has lost a lot in her life. Her fiancé was murdered when she was 18 years old, by her own mother. She was responsible for her father’s death. Decades later, her mother was killed in front of her. So much murder, so much devastation and at the end of it all, she was left standing.

How was that fair? Daniel and her father were good people. They deserved to live full lives with happiness. Her mother had been evil, possibly worse than Regina. And yet, she imagined a life where maybe they could’ve been close. Maybe they could’ve talked things out. Maybe…well, she had a million maybes because her mother was dead and she didn’t have to face the reality that their relationship likely never would’ve changed.

It’s the same with Snow. They had gotten better. Snow was the first person she wanted to go to for advice with Robin. When she found out Zelena was pregnant, she wanted to call her to talk about it. She never would’ve thought that was possible years ago. And while Snow’s hope speeches were still incredibly annoying…she’d give anything to hear one again.

They had become a family again. The little girl she once loathed was now the woman that she wasn’t sure she could go on without.

A pair of gruff yet soft arms wrap around her. Regina melts into Robin’s embrace, shutting her eyes. Zelena is locked away, baby Margot is safe. Both of them are alive, in spite of everything Camelot threw at them. They should be a happy family now and yet; Regina knows there’s an air of sadness hanging above them. It’s like the rain cloud in antidepressant commercials. One moment they’re smiling over Roland acing a spelling test and the next, Regina wants to hide in the bathroom and sob.

Regina’s never been allowed to grieve before. Living with Leopold, she had to put on a brave face. She wanted to be feared, not pitied. No one even knew about Daniel; he was her secret. After her dad, she had woken up in Storybrooke and buried the pain under her need for revenge. With her mom, she let that bubble over into rage and she focused all of it on Snow and dragging Henry back to her.

With Robin, it’s different. He sends the kids to play and pulls her into a room. Robin orders her to let it all out and hugs her tightly while she cries. If she wants to be alone, he respects that, but is never far away. He’s her anchor in this storm of grief. She knew when Snow died that she wouldn’t allow herself to fall into darkness again, but this helps. She’s not alone this time, she has a whole army behind her.

She also feels guilty that it’s no enough. That she still has this ache in her heart, one that can never be filled. Snow is gone. Before she filled these holes with revenge and murder. What was she supposed to do now?  
  


Well, for a start, she had tried to do all she could to help David. She knows their relationship is complicated. He’s saved her life a few times, but there’s still the quips. The ones where both of them are kidding…but are they? He taught her to dance in Camelot and they’ve called each other family. They’re the type of close that you only get because you’re thrust into each other so many times. Still, she wonders if they would be this close without Snow. Probably not.

And yet, she’s there every single day. No matter what he needs or even if he doesn’t want anything at all. She’s there.

“I’m going to the Charmings’ today,” she mutters. “Made a lasagna.”

Robin doesn’t say they have enough food or that she’s been there every day this week. Instead, he just presses a kiss to her temple. “Want me to come?”

Regina shakes her head, some hair getting caught in her mouth in the process. “I probably wont stay long. Besides, the boys have school and you’ve got Margot.”

“She’s pretty portable.”

Regina fights a smile. How does he do that to her? “Still. I’ll be fine.”

“Snow would be proud that she found a way for you and David to spend more than five seconds alone in a room together.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah. If she’d like to come express her happiness, that’d be great.”

Robin sighs, rubbing her back. “What do you need from me today?”

Regina cranes her neck to face him. “Just take care of the kids. Please.” She kisses his jaw, shutting her eyes as his beard tickles her lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

After getting in her pantsuit, she fiddles through her jewelry box, trying to find the perfect pair of earrings. As she moves back a drawer, she discovers a thin silver chain with a whittled raven hanging off of it. The wood’s faded in time and curses, but she’d recognize it anywhere.

_“I saw it at the market, Regina!” A young Snow squealed excitedly as she pressed it to Regina’s palm._

_Regina stared at it as if it would explode. “Oh.”_

_“It’s for you. The bird’s a raven,” Snow explained. “I know that you love them.”_

_“Well…” Regina forced a smile. “Thank you, Snow.”_

She stuffed the necklace at the bottom of her jewelry box later that night and never looked at it until it somehow made it over through the curse. She scoffed at the time, but something in her wouldn’t let her discard it.

Regina pulls the necklace to her chest and shuts her eyes, trying to remember something good from Snow’s childhood. She certainly couldn’t have been angry and resentful all the time. There had to be a reason why Snow believed in her, why she loved her. But outside doing her hair every morning and sneaking her a few treats at a ball here or there…Regina had been a terrible step-mother. She didn’t ask to be one and she blamed Snow for why she had to. A part of her knows she was never fully unjust with her hatred towards Snow, especially after Cora’s murder.

But God, why had she spent so long hating her when she just could’ve loved?  
  


Regina shakes the thought from her mind and clasps the god-awful necklace around her neck. Snow always did have horrible taste when it came to fashion as a kid.

She walks out of the room, poking her head in each room. Margot and Roland are sleeping, as she expected. When she reaches her eldest’s, though, she finds the light on. Pushing the door open, Regina sees Henry at his desk. He’s still in pajamas, focused intently on something. Regina steps closer and sees a mess of paper, scissors, glue, his calligraphy set and pictures. She reaches down and picks up one, it’s of Henry and Snow under the curse. They’re at a party of some sort, one Regina was never made aware of. “Mary Margaret” is beaming, holding an oversized handmade card in one hand, her other arm wrapped around Henry. He was so much smaller then. In just a year and a half, he’s lost his baby face and turned into a pre-teen.

“That was at the party Emma threw for Grandma when Kathryn showed up alive,” Henry says. “My class made her a card.”

Regina nods. “I like this picture.” She settles onto the bed, twirling the picture in her fingers. Henry’s got bags under his eyes and his face is paler than usual. “You didn’t sleep.”

Henry shrugs. “I’ve been working on this for a while.”

“What exactly is…this?”

“A new version of the storybook. It ends when you cast the curse…but that’s not where our story ends.”

Regina nods, a small smile on her face. “It was just the beginning.”

“Exactly.” Henry pastes a newspaper article from when Emma was elected as sheriff. “So, this is a new book. With mostly good memories.”

“That’s a really sweet idea, Henry.”

“I figured I could give it to Emma.” He frowns, smoothing the edges of the clipping. “When she talks to me that is.”

Regina puts a hand on his shoulder. “Sweetie, she’s going through a lot of pain right now.”

“I know, but when my dad died, she was there for me. I just wish she would let me be there for her.”

“I understand that, I do. But do you remember when I was upset about Marian coming back?” Henry nods. “I needed my space, to think and clear my head. I hate to admit it, but Emma and I are a lot alike. We need time, talking isn’t our strong suit.”

Henry nods. “I get it.”

Regina looks down at the picture once more, another quickly clouding her mind. Turning around in the hospital after getting off the phone with Sidney, finding “Mary Margaret” so lovingly staring down at Henry. Grandmother and grandson meeting for the first time and no one knew it. The love she showed to him before she even knew they were related will forever stay with Regina.

  
“She loved you, Henry,” Regina says. “So much.”

Henry doesn’t look up from his pictures. “Yeah.”

“And you look _just_ like her.” That was one of the many things that didn’t leave Regina’s mind once she found out who Henry’s biological mother was. “I don’t see much of Emma or Baelfire in you…but Snow…inside and out, _you are her_.”

Henry doesn’t say anything. Regina puts down the picture and rises to her feet. She wraps her arms around Henry’s neck, kissing his temple. Henry’s lip quivers and a silent tear falls down his face.

“Oh, my little prince,” she whispers.

“It’s just not fair,” Henry’s voice cracks in a way that’s both grief and puberty. “I mean…I should know by now that life isn’t…but…”

“Henry, you are 13 years old. Far too young to be so cynical.” She gives him another kiss. “You are the great hope of this family, you believe when no one else does. And it’s not fair that you’ve had to face so much loss at such a young age. No one deserves that. You have lost so many people and I am so sorry.”

She’s his mom. She’s supposed to protect him from pain and she’s not naïve that she could have added to it. Regina never wanted Henry to have a childhood like hers and for the most part, she’s succeeded. If only she could prevent him from losing people like she had.

“When I met the Apprentice and found out that the pen was magical…I asked if I could bring my dad back.”

Regina sighs. “Oh, Henry…”

He shakes his head. “I can’t. So, I couldn’t do it with Grandma…does mean I didn’t try.”

“There’s not a way to bring her back, baby. If there was, you know I would’ve done it by now.”

“I know, Mom.” He pulls away to look at her and sincerity is written on her face. “I just…wish I could do something. Anything. Gramps is trying to keep it all together, Emma won’t talk to anyone and Neal…he’s going to grow up without a mom.”

Regina nods. “I know, honey. But sometimes all we can do is be there for people.”

“So…I can skip school and go with you to Gramps’ house?”

She laughs, shaking her head. “Nice try. Since you didn’t sleep, I’ll let you stay home and rest.”

“But Mom…”

“I’m serious, Henry. Get some sleep. This project can wait.”

Henry rolls his eyes but pushes himself up. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Robin will be back after he drops off Roland, if you need anything.”

* * *

Regina is ten minutes late to the Charmings’. She was halfway to the loft when she remembered they don’t live there anymore. She spent so much time there over the past few years, thinking they could live anywhere else is still just so weird. The loft was supposed to be a punishment: uncomfortable furniture, far from Granny’s and her job. But in the end…Snow, David and Emma made it a home.

She can’t accept that someday, another family could live there.

Regina pulls her car behind Emma’s bug and grabs the lasagna from the passenger seat. She makes her way up the uneven rock path to the porch and pauses by the door. The welcome mat she gave them when they moved in is still parked outside.

_The Charmings_

She takes a deep breath and rings the bell. David answers, still in his pajamas. Spit up is encrusted in his shoulder, pancake batter across the “University of Maine” lettering. His flannel sweats have holes in the knee. He hasn’t shaved in awhile and his beard is beginning to take form. He is not the man she remembers and it scares her a little.

“Hey.” His voice comes out soft, tired.

“Hey,” She holds out the dish. “I brought lasagna.”

His lips tug upwards as he steps aside, gesturing for her to come in, taking the dish in the process. Before she’s fully inside, she spots Emma storming up the stairs. She bites her lip. The two haven’t spoken since the funeral. She avoids her when she drops by. If they’re in the same room, Emma won’t meet her eye. Regina’s done everything to show that she’s in Emma’s corner, just like Emma was in hers when “Marian” came back. She thought they had made some progress, but all of this just seemed to make them crash into a wall.

“Emma, I brought food.” It sounds so lame and forced and Regina hates herself for it.

Emma stays with her back turned, her fingers fiddling together. “Great,” her voice drips with sarcasm.

Regina wants to say something, anything to make it better. “And I ran into Archie when I was picking up coffee, he was saying he’d love to talk to you and your dad.” The former cricket had been more than happy to help the family out when Regina saw him the day before.

Emma spins around with such vigor, Regina jumps back a bit. “Why are you even here, Regina?”

David fixes his daughter with a look only a parent can muster. Regina knows she’s given it to Henry a time or two over the years. “Emma.”

“I’m serious, Dad! She hated Mom when she was alive, she tried to kill her numerous times. I’m sure she’s glad she’s dead.”

Emma’s words strike a hole through Regina’s heart. It’s nothing she hasn’t told herself, outside being glad that Snow is dead. Though, she’s sure more people than just Emma have that opinion. Everyone seemed surprised when she cried at the service. Did she really ever show how much she loved Snow?

“That’s not true, Emma,” is the only thing she can think to say.

“Whatever. I took on that stupid curse to save you and look where that got me. I don’t want to see you again!”

Emma disappears up the stairs and Regina flinches when the door slams. She leans against a wall, pursing her lips together and begging herself not to cry.

  
“Regina,” David says softly. “She doesn’t mean it, she’s in pain.”

“No, she’s right,” Regina opens her mouth, shuts it and then sucks in a breath. “Emma wouldn’t have become the Dark One if the vortex didn’t try to absorb me. Then we wouldn’t have to go to Camelot…”

“You think we wouldn’t have found a cure for you?”

David’s face is a mix of gentle, confused and slightly stern. She’s brought back to when she was surprised that he and Snow saved her from Greg and Tamara. He couldn’t see why she would be.

“Either way…Snow wouldn’t have gotten hurt, no one would’ve had to turn her…”

“No,” David shakes his head. “Emma made a choice. And that’s not to say I blame her for this. She was dark, vulnerable. But ultimately, she chose to take this on for you. She chose to turn Snow into a Dark One…and Snow…” He clenches his eyes shut. “She chose to sacrifice herself.”

Regina bites her lip, gently touching his arm. “She saved Emma’s life.”

“I know,” his voice breaks out in a whisper. “And I am so glad for that…but she didn’t even talk to me about it, Regina.” His blue eyes open, teary and wide. “She just…took it on. Didn’t give me a chance to do anything.”

“Because she didn’t want to lose you.”

“Oh, and I can lose her?” He shakes his head. “I love her so much and I miss her…but I’m also mad at her. I’m mad at her for saving my daughter’s life.”

“David, you just said you don’t blame Emma.”

“I don’t, but why do I have to choose? Why do I have to decide whether I get both my wife and my daughter?” He purses his lips together. “Why can’t I just have them both?”

Regina tightens her grip on him and rests her head on his shoulder. He maneuvers the lasagna to put an arm around her and both let out shaky breaths.

“I feel like I’m going to lose her too,” David admits. “Emma. She won’t talk to me. She doesn’t eat, she doesn’t sleep.”

“She’ll come to you when she’s ready.”

“What if she never does?”

“Emma loves you…”

“But Snow was who she talked to. Emma and I are still getting to know each other. We talk…but Snow was her person. She was her first best friend in years. I’m not going to measure up.”

“Hey,” Regina pulls away from him. “You don’t have to be, Snow. You’ll find your grove.”

David still doesn’t look convinced as he walks back into the kitchen. Regina looks between there and the stairs, shaking her head.

  
“What are we gonna do about them, Snow?” she asks.

And she’s not sure why she gets angry when there’s no response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions for me or the characters? Send them to my AO3, Twitter or Tumblr: justanoutlawfic.


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